Coraline, exhausted in an armchair, takes the test with a practitioner — The Hammock and the Hummingbirds, practical guide
Hummingbird, the icon of the practical guides of The Hammock and the Hummingbirds

How do you know if it’s tiredness or something more?

100% pass rate

The only exam where ticking every box is not good news.

← All the practical guides
The keyDon’t look at what you feel. Look at what you can no longer do.

“Apparently I tick all the boxes. That’s a good sign, isn’t it!”

Chapter 37 — Soft as a Feather

When it happens to you

You go to the doctor for vitamins. Just vitamins, because you’re working a lot and sleeping little at the moment. “At the moment” has lasted seven months. You explain in slow motion, groping for your words.

Why you’re the last to know

You got used to it notch by notch, and every notch became the new normal. Your body, though, doesn’t get used to it: it keeps count. And the day you can’t remember your own address, it doesn’t warn you — it hands you the bill.

Rule

Your body keeps the count you refuse to keep.

How to see clearly, in 3 steps

  1. Write down three ordinary things you did last year and don’t do any more. Not big projects: calling a friend, cooking, reading 10 pages, laughing at a joke.
  2. Date them. Since when, exactly? If you can’t answer, write “I don’t remember” — that’s already an answer.
  3. Show this list to a doctor. Not your feelings, not your story: the list. It’s harder to brush aside than “I’m fine, just a bit tired”.

⚠ This guide diagnoses nothing

It’s there to spot a moment, not to put a name on it. Ticking boxes doesn’t replace a doctor, and sticking a label on yourself never cured anyone. The only thing this guide asks of you is to book an appointment. If you’re feeling really bad, don’t wait for this list: talk to someone today.

What it changes for you

You stop wondering whether you’re allowed to be tired. The question isn’t whether other people cope better than you: it’s what no longer works. A 3-line list does that job better than six months of doubt.

How to practise

2 minutes, once a month. Reread your list and see whether it’s getting longer or shorter. It’s the only dashboard you need, and it doesn’t lie.

Remember

The day I can’t remember my address, my body has already answered for me.

You may be wondering

Is everyone this tired?

No. Ordinary tiredness is fixed by a weekend. This kind isn’t fixed any more: you sleep and wake up just as empty.

What if I’m exaggerating?

That’s the question everyone asks, and that’s precisely the symptom. Someone who exaggerates doesn’t wonder whether they’re exaggerating.

I don’t have time to stop.

That’s exactly what everyone says before they stop all at once, without choosing the moment. 3 days now cost less than six months later.

So, in practice? Your version belongs to you Imitating isn’t cheating What’s the weather like today? Quiet fortress Read the chapter

Watching the hummingbirds

Watching the hummingbirds means changing your point of view.
It means seeing things from every angle.
It means accepting every part of ourselves. And of other people.
And laughing about it.

A hummingbird has every colour. So do we. Our shadows and our light.
You take one step to the side: green turns pink. Then gold.
Nothing has moved, except you.

What a practical guide is for

To try out a tool.
To change your point of view.
To laugh at something that was weighing on you this morning.

What it isn’t

It isn’t therapy.
It isn’t a diagnosis.
It isn’t a court: nobody’s looking for a culprit.
It isn’t a manual of good behaviour. You do as you like.

Its purpose

Accepting that we’re human. And fallible.
Our shadow sides. Our sides of light.
Taking the drama out, to get rid of the resistance.
Not judging ourselves. Not judging others.
Laughing about it. It works better, and it’s more fun.

Nobody gets judged here. Least of all you.
We don’t know anything you don’t. We’ve just written some tools.

Where these guides come from

Nobody invented them. They came out of a novel, chapter after chapter — and in the order I learnt them. Not in logical order: in the order life dropped them on me.

What you get, put end to end:
Don’t let yourself get caught in the middle.
Don’t have to prove your worth.
Understand the other person without carrying what belongs to them.
Spot what keeps repeating.
Set the limit, and hold it.
Name the manoeuvre: that’s enough to defuse it.
Walk away when the judges are the accusers.
Listen to your body, which answers before you do.
Sort out what you keep.
And finally: choose where you’re heading.

I only saw the logic afterwards, when I reread it. That’s why it holds: nobody drew it in advance.

If something is too much for you, see a professional. A guide is a tool, not a doctor.